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It’s that time of year again. February is upon us, and suddenly the need for Valentine's Day ideas that make you feel warm and fuzzy (without being exclusionary or cringe-worthy) feels top-of-mind. In fact, after two years of being more isolated and lonely than ever, celebrating the ones we love—in a safe way—feels downright urgent. “Valentine’s Day is the one day a year people invest big in their relationships,” says Logan Ury, director of relationship science at Hinge and author of How Not to Die Alone. “Don’t dismiss it as a Hallmark holiday, but take it as a reminder that you should be investing in relationships on this day and throughout the year.”
While basically every company will try to sell you something easy and/or cheesy to mark the day, you deserve an experience that's truly fun, not just some red plastic crapola you'll forget by March. Those are fun and all, but so much better when they're meaningful! (Speaking of: We have plenty of ideas for not-lame Valentine's Day gifts for her and Valentine's Day gifts for him.)
To help you feel the love this year, we’ve compiled 41 Valentine’s Day ideas to level up your day, whether you’re single, celebrating with your pals, still with the same S.O. since last spring, or in an ambiguous pandemic...something. Most of these ideas work solo or virtually with friends if you can't get together in person safely. And exactly zero of them involve a reservation or elaborate (slash expensive!) Valentine's Day gifts.
1. Do Leslie Knope proud.
Leslie Knope, Galentine’s queen, would not see this day through without diner waffles! Channel her energy with your pals, far and wide. Attire: jammies. Venue: your couch. Time: no earlier than noon. Send everyone a cute mail invite with a nip of Baileys for Irish coffee, and gather ingredients to make stacks on stacks of creative waffles. We are all for supporting your local diner too via takeout too, as Leslie would. Unique Valentine's gifts you can eat? Yes, please.
Dash Mini Waffle Maker
2. Break out the massage oil.
Romantic date ideas don't have to involve chartering a yacht or whatever. Microwave some towels, light a few candles, and spring for new massage oil. (Aesop’s Breathless is a house favorite.) Don't forget the plinky-plunky music.
Aesop Breathless Massage Oil
3. Play Top Chef: Aphrodisiac edition.
What do oysters, pomegranates, and asparagus have in common? They’re all known aphrodisiacs. Spice up a DIY cooking night with these challenging ingredients sure to get your hormones pumping. Red wine and chocolate are also encouraged.
4. Have a ball.
Looking for fun date ideas that also count as exercise? Okay, get your mind out of the gutter—we mean dancing. Move that couch and try a Bridgerton-stye virtual ballroom dance class, or try a virtual burlesque class if you’re feeling the Dita Von Teese vibes.
5. Put on a private show.
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Serve up some lewks as you strut down the hall and celebrate that body-ody (cue Megan Thee Stallion playlist). Looking for some new lingerie ethically made by a woman-owned company? Azura Bay curates ethical comfy lingerie from handmade silk or Italian lace. Want to support a BIPOC biz? Check out Beautifully Undressed for some femme frills, or the fierce Blue Reign vegan leather collection.
6. Re-create your first date.
Go back to where it all started, and re-create your first date, this time from home. Whether making your first drinks all over, or creating a sloppy college bar vibe in your home, this is a surefire way to rekindle those initial sparks, laugh about the awkward moments, and see how far you’ve come as a team.
7. Book a DYI pasta class.
Meryl Feinstein is a pasta queen and we bow(tie) down. Join her Pasta Social Club, and take a pasta-tively amazing virtual class. You can even book a private lesson.
KitchenAid 3-Piece Pasta Roller
8. Go on a dessert crawl.
Plan a route through your town to grab three of the best sweet treats, and perform a formal review with your friends or partner.
9. Make your own valentines.
Send valentines to your 35 closest classmates coworkers, friends, or distant cousins. Consider choosing a valentine from your local senior center or a Gold Star Family as an American Sweetheart volunteer.
10. Have a fancy hot chocolate.
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Want to play with your food and watch it explode? Grab yourself a hot chocolate bomb—the trendy treat taking over TikTok.
Hot Chocolate Bombs
11. Heat up some fondue.
What pairs well with melting chocolate? Crusty bread and drunk cheese. We found this 1965 fondue recipe that's still bubbly hot today. We gruyere-antee you’ll love it.
12. Have a picnic in bed.
Padma Lakshmi started this quarantine-perfect trend: Make English afternoon tea, put on PJs, and put yourself and your tray of delicacies on top of crisp sheets. Pairs well with Great British Bakeoff episodes.
Wine & Cheese Picnic Basket
13. Go geocaching.
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There’s a global treasure hunt, and here’s your invite, brave explorer! Log on to Geocaching and rediscover the same blocks you’ve walked hundreds of times.
14. Hit the ice.
Of all the places to go for Valentine's Day, this is the one where falling on your butt is the most appropriate. Get your glitter leotard out, grab those Bernie Sanders–inspired mittens, and glide around your neighborhood rink—easy to social distance while supporting outdoor local businesses.
15. Go stargazing.
When the city lights become too bright, find your nearest dark sky site where light pollution maps will guide you to the nearest place for optimal stargazing. Road trip + shooting stars?! Romance abounds.
Portable and Extra-Large Picnic & Outdoor Blanket
16. Take a hike.
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Reach new heights by scaling a mountain together. Find a local hiking trail and work up a sweat while taking on a challenge.
17. Channel your inner Olympian.
Inspired by the Olympics? Curling is the hottest outdoor trend in colder cities—see if a bar near you has an outdoor lane to book. Think of it like winterized shuffleboard and test your skill.
18. Face a breakup.
No guilt, no shame, just love and support. This Valentine's Day Heartbroken Anonymous founder Naz Perez is hosting two open sessions to hold space for the other side of love: heartbreak. This global support group is for those experiencing the emotional distress known as heartbreak. You’ll hear stories from people around the world, and maybe want to share your own in a safe virtual space.
19. Catch a sunrise (or sunset).
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Wake up early, drive to the best lookout, and paint with all the colors of the wind. Not a morning person? The sun sets early enough in February for a Champagne toast before dinner.
20. Try some tantra.
Meditation + touch = a serious intimacy level-up. Bring the ancient art of tantric breathing into the bedroom (no partner required) for a thrilling and restorative evening. At home Valentine's day ideas aren't “boring,” they're intimate!
21. Do a dramatic reading.
Grab a romance novel and settle in with your partner for a sensual fireside book club. If you’re still hung up on Bridgerton, grab the book and maybe get sweaty and reenact that stairs scene.
22. Level up movie night.
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Turn a classic into a drinking game, from Mean Girls to Titanic.
23. Try a new sex toy.
If Katie can bring a vibrator to The Bachelor, we can talk about sex toys openly here. Dame and Vush make womxn-focused and accessibility-friendly toys for singles and couples. They'll make even the most tried and true classic sex positions feel like new again!
Dame Eva II
24. Share your fantasies.
Chicago-based sex therapist Michelle Herzog, LMFT, CST, recommended this exercise: On slips of paper, write anything sexual or intimate that turns you on. Next, drop them into a hat and take turns pulling the slips out and talking them through with your partner. You’ll open up, and get some new Valentine's Day ideas to spice up your bedroom routine (or kitchen, or shower…). “There is no pressure to engage in any of these activities, as it's simply a way to encourage sexual communication,” Herzog says. You might even start brainstorming things to do on Valentine's day next year. And uh, ways to do them.
25. Touch each other.
Do you know all of your partner’s curves and edges? This intimacy exercise is designed to encourage erotic playfulness, Herzog says. Lie naked facing each other and explore each other’s bodies using your hands, playing with movement, speed, and pressure. “Make sure to set the mood by turning off devices, setting optimal lighting, and discussing beforehand which parts of the body are off-limits,” she says.
26. Write some erotica.
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Write your own erotica based on your personal experiences or your deepest fantasies. Read to a partner, sext a consenting Tinder match, or publish if you dare. This could be your Fifty Shades moment.
27. Play sommelier.
Just shy of stomping grapes in the tub, you can get close to vineyards from your couch. The Sonoma County Vintners have this handy list of wines you can order direct to home. On date night, you can create your own tasting notes (with coaching from this Wine Folly blog).
Smartest Wine Delivery Subscription: Bright Cellars
Started by two wine-loving MIT grads, Bright Cellars uses a special algorithm to score wines based on how 18 different attributes match your preferences. In other words: It finds your wine soul mate. Unlike with dating apps, though, only one of the 12 wines that Bright Cellars samples makes it into your monthly collection, which means the app weeds out all the left swipes for you.
28. Take a cuddling class.
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Think you’re the perfect spoon? You can book a virtual session with a certified cuddliest (it’s a thing) to learn some new positions from a professional trained in this form of intimacy therapy.
29. Rent-a-spa.
We all deserve a deep soak. See if there’s a local hot tub spa rentable by the hour or filter Airbnbs with hot tubs for a quick getaway.
30. Play True American.
New Girl’s roommates invented this floor-is-lava athletic feat that Jess describes as “50% drinking game, 50% life-size Candy Land.” Subsequent seasons featured a strip version, just sayin’. And to those who say romantic Valentine's Day ideas don't include games, I ask you to revisit the circ*mstances of the Jess-Nick kiss.
31. Watch good p*rn.
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Reframe the role p*rn plays in your sex lives with these ethically produced, women-focused content sites. Fake org*sms are canceled.
32. Learn some new moves.
Whether you’re shaking up the routine as part of a fertility journey or getting too comfortable with a quarantine friend with benefits, we believe you’re never too old or too inexperienced to learn new tricks. Try one of these 47 sex positions to shake things up.
33. Have an intimate conversation.
Communication is the make-or-break of many relationships. Start a different kind of conversation with a Best Self card deck on intimacy (produced by a woman-founded company that donates to Feeding America with every purchase), or channel some Brené Brown with the Courage Over Comfort pack.
34. Tap your inner artist.
We should all be doing more activities on Valentine's Day. And if you like finger painting, you’ll probably like naked rolling on a canvas covered in paint. As featured on The Bachelorette, Tayshia and Zac made beautiful art—and found a deeper connection. You can pick up a kit at Love and Paint. Reviews describe the experience as “soul-bonding,” and the body paint is dermatologist-approved. (Word to the wise: Do this before you give yourself a manicure, or your Valentine's Day nail designs might get messed up.)
35. Make your own puzzle.
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Send your favorite cute or silly pic to your local pharmacy’s Photoshop, and get a custom-printed puzzle in 24 hours. Put it together, shellac, and frame it!
36. Have a boudoir photo shoot.
Set up a boudoir photo shoot and celebrate your body. Find a photographer or grab a camera and a tripod. Turn the printouts into a book and—presto—your Valentine's Day gifts are sorted for the next five years.
37. Get deep.
The 36 Questions That Lead to Love, published in 2015, remains one of the best conversational road maps out there to build deeper connections—whether romantic or platonic soul mates.
38. Watch The Notebook.
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If you're missing the one that got away, there is simply no film that “gets it” more than this Nicholas Sparks classic. It's aged, let's say, unevenly, but the romantic moments are as poignant as ever. If you're a bird, I'm a bird.
39. Watch something with a happy ending.
Sorry to bum you out just now. Romantic comedies to the rescue! If you just want to spend the day in a good mood, check out our round-up of the very best feel-good movies ever. We guarantee serotonin, or your money back.
40. Order sushi and Champagne.
Look at you, Blair Waldorf! So fancy, so classy, so upscale sophisticated. It's okay to splurge a little on the finer things once in a while, so take this as an opportunity to indulge in those items that have a full three $s on Seamless.
41. Take a tandem bicycle ride!
Listen, we know it's corny. But it's also cute, hella healthy, and COVID-safe, lets you see the sights, and will get your heart pumping! Adrenaline bonds people. That's science. Look it up.
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